


Expendability

by Nonchol



Series: Unrelated botw Oneshots [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Beta Read, Pre-Calamity Ganon, Selectively Mute Link (Legend of Zelda), Self-Hatred, not a happy ending sorry, self worth issues, suicidal idealization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonchol/pseuds/Nonchol
Summary: Worth was the only thing that mattered. The worth of his sword, the worth of his skill. That was all. That was all it ever was, and he was not foolish enough to pretend otherwise.-Pre-Calamity drabble in which Link thinks his own worth, the champions, and the princess that he had sworn to protect.
Relationships: Link & The Champions
Series: Unrelated botw Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109756
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Expendability

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags.  
> This is A LOT different from my last one-shot, in both style and in themes. I promise I'll go back to fluff or at least something not as angsty as this one next time, but I was really in the mood to write this. It's more of a vent piece really.  
> Hope you enjoy all the same.

Link knew that the sword was to speak for him. It was not a direct order, but an unspoken rule that he was forced to accept. What little voice he had was unnecessary when he wielded the sword, and he did not bother to pretend otherwise.

Why would he when he knew that people looked at the sword and not at him? He was only her wielder, her master, but he was dispensable whereas she was constant. He was only needed to hold her and fight with her. Without him, she was still the master sword. She would always be the Sword that Seals the Darkness, regardless of who wields her.

But what was he? A soldier that rose to ranks off his father’s training and name? His father had fought and nearly died for his reputation and honor. All Link did was pick up a sword. He was nothing without her, but she was everything without him.

_It shouldn't hurt anymore._

He was supposed to be used to it. It shouldn’t make his stomach churn or his head burn anymore, but he was just too selfish. 

He was too tired to do anything about it anyway. It was much easier to fight and kill than it was to think. No one cared what he thought anyway; They only cared about who he fought and who he protected. A silent knight was more useful than a talkative one. More presentable, more likable. More deserving.

Sometimes though, the younger trainee knights looked at him instead of the sword, but that only made his stomach churn at their desire to take his place. They wanted to be the hero. They wanted to save and protect, and he knew that they were so much more deserving of his honor. Regardless, he'd never wish such a curse on any of them. They had a choice, a life, while he had a destiny. He had a predetermined fate handpicked by the Goddess herself, and he had no say in anything.

At least it was different when the Champions looked at him. Revali despised him, but he still saw him as a person. A flawed person at that, and perhaps he should have hated his scorn, but it felt so deserving that he never said a thing.

 _"Laugh all you want, hero." They were standing at the flight range. Revali had just risen from the floor after a failed exercise that left him winded and brittle. "What have you done? Picked up a shiny sword in the woods?" There had been so much hatred and spite in his glare that even against the cold Tabantha wind, Link felt as if he was burning. "What_ _have you worked for?"_

_He did not argue back. He only stood still as he always did, but as Revali scoffed and flew back to his training, he knew in his heart that he was right. There was no point in arguing or pretending to be someone that he wasn’t._

However, Mipha saw him otherwise: As a person yes, but a person that deserved protection, and as sick as it would be to laugh at that idea he couldn’t help himself. He did not need protection. He had the Goddess and the Goddess would never let him die. She would let him bleed and burn, but never die, for he was a tool to wield his sword and kill her enemy, and that was enough incentive for her to keep him alive.

_"Please, be careful." They were sitting together beside the Zora riverbank as she gently cradled his injured arm. If only her voice wasn't so soft and somber. If only she didn't care about him. "As I've said before, I will always be here to heal your wounds-" her hold was soft, but he was so undeserving. "-but please, I can only pray for you to be just a little more careful."_

_He'd try, at least for her. He’d try to make it easier for the Zora princess to sleep at night. He could not promise her anything and he never would, but he would try, for she deserved so much better, and trying was all that he could offer. The least that she deserved._

But Daruk was bright and bubbly, grinning with fiery laughter that brimmed with so much warmth that sometimes it was even able to melt the ice in his limbs. He saw him as a person, as a friend, but even more so as a brother.

_"Little guy-" They were standing in Vah Rudania, a little ways off from where Zelda and Purah tinkered with the guardian stone. "-Relaxation is important for all of us! How else can you fight big bad Ganon without a good night's rest?”_

_He was trying to convince him to stay at the Goron Inn since he saw him sleeping out in the pavilion the night before. It wasn’t a big deal, but for whatever reason, Daruk made it out to be. Link needed to save rupees for fire potions and arrows. Anything else wasn't important, and it wasn't like he deserved such a warm bed anyway when he had fumbled while fighting a Lizalfos on the way up the mountain._

_"Besides," he continued, "It’s only a few rupees for bed, and I'm more than happy to pay for a night-"_

_That was enough to make Link cut him off. He'd pay for it himself, as long as it made Daruk happy. It wouldn’t change what he thought, and it wasn't like he would get much sleep either way._

Urbosa on the other hand was quieter with him. She was always more stoic and patient than the other champions, but that only made her easier to be around. She did not worry and dot on him as Mipha did. She did not laugh with enough force to make the ground shake as Daruk did, and she did not snap and glare at him as Revali. She was patient. Relaxed. Welcoming in a way.

_"Little voe, you are no less deserving of sleep than anyone else." The desert sand was hot and sticky against his legs. They were in the Southern Oasis. Zelda slept peacefully beside the fire while he stood against the palm tree behind her. He was tired, so tired, but he did not dare sleep, and he only lifted his head when he heard Urbosa's voice. Somehow, it wasn’t condescending, but it also wasn’t harsh or strict either._

_"I will keep guard until sunrise." What he wouldn't give to sound as sure and confident as she did. "Now rest; It will be a long ride back to the Bazaar."_

_He did not dare object to her, so he let himself sit and rest against the palm tree. He was undeserving of the warm cots beside the fire, but the sleep that had been pulling at him for hours was almost too strong to ignore._

_That night when he slept, it was dreamless and blank, but it was good anyway. No dreams were a good sign._

_The only way that he could ever thank someone was with his sword and his skill, so he spent the next night slaying every Lizalfos and Chuchu that he could find around the town’s wall. He hoped that somehow she knew that it was him, or at least that she understood what it all meant. He could do so little for her, but this he could. His labor he could give._

Zelda was different. As much as he knew that she despised him, he could not bring himself to hate the princess. She had no choice in anything either. While he could train his swordsmanship, she could only pray and hope for her powers to awaken. So while the townspeople and nobles gossiped and chastised her, he knew that he would do no such thing. Not when she deserved so much better.

_“You are their hero, Link. The hero that wields that sword that seals the darkness.” Zelda spoke with such envy and disdain. She spoke as if she hated him, and the more than she glared at him, the more that he knew that she probably did._

How was he to answer that? How was he to explain that it wasn’t death that he was afraid of, but having to live with himself afterward? Having to be the perfect knight, the perfect hero, again and again. Never being able to stop fighting, not for a second, because he was not a person like her. He was a weapon. A killer.

How could he explain that that was what terrified him more than Ganon ever could?

He was not afraid of death, not when it was an escape. A bloody and painful escape, but an escape all the same. Even if he knew that the Goddess would never allow it. Not yet, when the Calamity was still on the horizon. She needed him alive. It didn’t matter if the thought terrified him. It didn’t matter that everyday death sounded more and more appealing to him.

Maybe if he was lucky, he’d die with the Calamity. It would be a hero’s death noble enough to protect his father’s name, and he’d finally be allowed to rest.

_But in the end, he said nothing, and he only nodded like he always did. Like he was supposed to do. Everything was so much easier that way._

_When the princess finally left, he refused to cry. He was never to break down, never to let himself cry. He willed himself to be the son that his father wanted, the knight that his king desired, and the hero that the kingdom expected him to be._

He had no choice otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this all in an afternoon somehow, but hey that’s what impulse typing does to you. Sorry for any spelling or grammar issues. This was more of a heat of the moment vent fic that went long  
> 


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